Foundry of Awesome http://www.foundryofawesome.org Very hurgish with slight fertinicy on initial taste. Ends loberishly Thu, 18 Aug 2011 16:17:06 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Dear Computer, http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2011/08/18/dear-computer/ http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2011/08/18/dear-computer/#comments Thu, 18 Aug 2011 16:17:06 +0000 Dan http://www.foundryofawesome.org/?p=98 Dear Computer,

 
This connectivity lacks connectivity. There’s a virtual universe at our fingertips while a real one goes ignored. We communicate with friends in virtual spaces but forget their faces. I miss tribal. I want to sit around a camp fire and share stories in real real-time, with real humans in a real setting.  There is something telling when we describe amazing but ordinary moments in reality as surreal. Beautiful sunrises and sunsets happen every day and mark the passing of time. Time is real too computer. You seem to pay this no mind as you steal away mine. Mine mind.  You computer, are surreal.

 
-Dan

]]> http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2011/08/18/dear-computer/feed/ 0 ESPN continued http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2009/06/18/espn-continued/ http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2009/06/18/espn-continued/#comments Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:53:20 +0000 Dan http://www.foundryofawesome.org/?p=85 Euth­a­nize Seniors: Pop­u­la­tion New
Eques­trian! Seabis­cuit Pooped Noisily!
Ele­phant Sta­tion Paca­derm Nation
Evoke Saliva, Pavlov. Neurotransmitters!
Egal­i­tar­ian State’s Pop­u­lous Neu­tral
Encrypt­ing Savant Processes Numbers
Enchi­lada Saborosa, Picante, Nutriva
Entropy. Shift­ing Par­ti­cles. Neu­tral­ity
Ein­stein: Smart Person Nat­u­rally
Erotic Sex Party Night

]]> http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2009/06/18/espn-continued/feed/ 0 Vegeta attempts an overwrought love letter http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2009/02/14/vegeta-attempts-an-overwrought-love-letter/ http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2009/02/14/vegeta-attempts-an-overwrought-love-letter/#comments Sun, 15 Feb 2009 00:59:57 +0000 Casey http://www.foundryofawesome.org/?p=73 I wanted her to reawaken the evil in my heart. I wanted her to return me to the way I was before. Cold and ruthless. I lived by my strength alone, uninhibited by foolish emotion. But slowly… over the years… I became one of you, my quest for greatness gradually giving way to this life of mediocrity. I awoke one day to find that I had settled down, formed a family… I had even grown quite fond of them. Would you believe, I almost started to think the Earth was a nice place to live? Do you understand now? By releasing the evil in my heart, she has freed me of these petty attachments… and I’d have to say, it feels pretty good.

Tell me. Is it slavery when you get what you want?

No. I will not be distracted from this anymore. I won’t. It will take more than head games to stop me. It is time to take back what is mine. I will not live my life as your second. That time is over. Every breath you take is an assault to my honor. By my hands, you will be cut down inch by inch, the way you have cut down my pride.

Spend most of your life ruled by another… and then tell me what has more meaning than your own strength. I have in me the blood of a prince. She is nothing but a joke. Yet, I’ve had to watch her surpass me in strength…my destiny thrown to the wayside. She’s…she’s even saved my life as if I were a helpless child. She has stolen my honor.

I have to try harder. She must have a weakness. If this thing can be given life, she can also have it taken away. Why should I sit around all day acting like this matters. I could end this in five minutes if I wanted to. I’m not here to play games. Or to create nice father-son memories. Stop pretending. Knock off the sentimental rubbish.

Why is it that she haunts me so? Is it because she’s always been one step ahead of me? Always succeeded where I have failed? First… defeating the tyrant that had held me in bondage my whole life…and then there was… giving her life for the lives of her friends… for my life. Well no more. After all we’ve been through, it’s finally my turn. I’ll settle this so we can both rest in peace. I may be gone, but this planet will be safe. I’ll stake my life on it.

Enjoy your sleep. And should your time run out before I’m done… heh heh… then we’ll have to continue this another day… when I see you in hell.

]]> http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2009/02/14/vegeta-attempts-an-overwrought-love-letter/feed/ 0 Starsucks! http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/11/24/rants-raves-star-bucks/ http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/11/24/rants-raves-star-bucks/#comments Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:28:46 +0000 Casey http://www.foundryofawesome.org/?p=67 So there I am, in line at that soul-sucking, globalization-enabling, geo-political disaster to poor South American farmers who deserve free trade of a coffee shop Starbucks, or as my life partner calls it, Starsucks (lol), and all I want is my regular decaf triple shot grande mocha latte with skim milk and those little chocolate shavings that go on top of the foam and just a splash of that tasty vanilla syrup they have, which I get everyday and is delicious! So there I am, right, and this pit bull comes busting into the shop and cuts the entire line! I couldn’t believe the arrogance exhibited by this pit bull! The staff of college dweebs didn’t do anything about it either. Then the worst part was that the pit bull ordered like 20 coffees holding up the line for way to long. DOGS DON’T DRINK COFFEE! 15 minutes (felt like 1 hour!) later I finally got my coffee and was late for work, so I had to throw the hammer down on my Hummer and cut through a pre-school playground, but before I left, I saw that the pit bull had an Obama sticker on his car. That was the last straw. I thought Obama wanted change. 

There’s no way I can justify voting for a person who would endorse a pit bull and is also a terrorist.

]]> http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/11/24/rants-raves-star-bucks/feed/ 0 The Shave http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/10/13/the-shave/ http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/10/13/the-shave/#comments Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:38:13 +0000 Dan http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/10/13/the-shave/ My beard went bald this morn
With scissors it was shorn
While looking to mirror
And shaving with razor
I became emotionally torn

I missed my fuzzy face
For a solution I stared to space
I then gathered the stubble
It was worth all the trouble
And reattached it with glue to my face

]]> http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/10/13/the-shave/feed/ 0 There isn’t http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/16/there-isnt/ http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/16/there-isnt/#comments Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:03:17 +0000 Dan http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/16/there-isnt/ There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd
There is no such thing as too much Pink Floyd

]]> http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/16/there-isnt/feed/ 0 FYI http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/02/fyi/ http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/02/fyi/#comments Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:10:58 +0000 Dan http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/02/fyi/ You freakn ate
my reuben
that was in
the frige

You jerk….
I was really
looking forward
to eating it

I can’t forgive you
my delicious reuben
so saurkrautey
and thousand islandish

]]> http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/02/fyi/feed/ 0 Pornos starring the End Twins http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/02/pornos-starring-the-end-twins/ http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/02/pornos-starring-the-end-twins/#comments Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:27:01 +0000 Casey http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/02/pornos-starring-the-end-twins/
  • End 2 End
  • The Ends in Sight
  • The Ends Justify the Means (co-starring the Mean Twins)
  • In the Deep Ends
  • Ends of the Line 4-Hour Gangbang Blowout!
  • The Happy Endings
  • Rear Ended!
  • End 2 End 2
  • Endgames
  • This End Up
  • End Over End
  • The Business Ends
  • The Ends of Days: Deep Impact
  • The Never Endings Storgasm
  • Tail Ends
  • Ends in Tears
    • ]]>     http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/09/02/pornos-starring-the-end-twins/feed/ 0     End Your Mid-life Crisis With A Sports Car Accident http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/08/08/end-your-mid-life-crisis-with-a-sports-car-accident/ http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/08/08/end-your-mid-life-crisis-with-a-sports-car-accident/#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:47:12 +0000 Dan http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/08/08/end-your-mid-life-crisis-with-a-sports-car-accident/ automobile
    tires squeal
    makes me feel
    alive

    automobile
    hands on the wheel
    what a thrill
    alive

    automobile
    crash blood surreal
    makes me feel
    dead

    ]]>     http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/08/08/end-your-mid-life-crisis-with-a-sports-car-accident/feed/ 0     Bite It http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/06/06/bite-it/ http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/06/06/bite-it/#comments Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:08:38 +0000 Dan http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/06/06/bite-it/ Betwixt the branches and undergrowth of the forest hides a message
    In Nature’s benign embrace clandestine malarkey manifests
    Thorns on a rose. Sharp skeleton after beauty’s bloom!
    Erode the luscious hillside. Gone Flora and Fauna. Rocky remains.

    Mal intent while shaking hands
    Yield the fruit of secret plans

    A gorgeous day for a picnic
    Sunny day! Pack the basket!
    Sleuth serpent in your basket.

    ]]>     http://www.foundryofawesome.org/2008/06/06/bite-it/feed/ 0